Are there any songs which you'd attribute with where your recovery is at right now?

[Daniel]

I was watching music tv while studying today, as I often do, and from no where comes the original version of 'Clocks' by Coldplay - the one *without* that cursed Cuban quartet in it (that version ruins the song, I reckon). I listened to it, as anyone here can on my list of songs, and when that incredibly catchy piano riff which opens the track up kicks off again about 3/4 of the way through the song, I thought to myself, 'Dan, if your recovery was going to be described right now in terms of a song, there is the point which describes it - a song called 'Clocks' - devoted to time which starts with a unique introduction, like your experience in China did with it seeming new and unusual, then encephalitis struck and your recovery beginning was like the main body of the song, now the end has come full circle to repeat the opening riff once again and it seems like the end of your recovery is close and you can finally begin to ask which song comes next' - that's how I see that song for me, which songs reflect your own recovery, eg :

1 - 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zepplin, if you feel somewhat drawn to a prolonged song body with a depressing end (great song, though)? or even (and I hope not) :
2 - 'The song that doesn't end' which is the themesong for the childrens show, 'Lambchops playalong' (for those who're unfamiliar, this is an awful and repetitive song for which I apologize in advance typing out) :

'This is the song that doesn't end,
Yes it goes on and on my friend,
Some people, started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
This is the song that doesn't end,'

I hope the perpetual, neverendingness, of that last song which is so utterly addictive in the memory that it could be bottled and marketed as a new anaesthesia, is *not* for you, as it suggests you feel stuck in the same part of life which goes on and on and on and never stops until you go burko, but anyway, which one?

[CR]

Yes Tish, this was the time where music came alive, I love music epically at this time, go to www,youtube.com?watch?y=kl-qyv I was in my early teens at the time.I had a transister raido next to my ear most of the time because dad thought my music stunk

[tobecome]

jars of clay are christian band i think they've been around about 10 yrs. the associations is a older group one song is cherish. The Cheiftains I think are pre u2 band from ireland.
tish

[tobecome]

it is kind of interesting to look back and see how history repeats itself in so many ways.
tish

[Daniel]

Y'know, I was at highschool in the late 90s, when guys like Marilyn Manson and other various artists presented themselves in what then became a seriously popular genre of music : gothic rock - personally, I can't stand that style as the image is usually dwelt upon before the music, which promotes shamefully negative and just plain wrong themes, yet it can't be denied that the popularity of this music was/is unmistakeable - younger listeners especially, on a universal scale and not just within religious/cult sections of society love the rhythms of music such as this and, while I disagree with the meaning, some of the instrumentation is similar to music I like also.
I then look at the other, more wholesome, end of the spectrum which promotes christianity and the far superior ideals of seeing life, and when I hear it - even the christian rock genre, it just is far less effective as it tries, to me at least, to convey an idea before a tune which might be found appealing by those who don't consider themselves to be devout or just religiously inclined - from what little I've heard, it tries too hard to be meaningful before musically appealing, and the alternative gothic bands therefor are more wealthy, and more importantly listened to as a result.
There was a theme song last year for a movie performed by Jack Black called, 'The pick of destiny' - this song didn't promote pro christian ideals in a devout way, but it did modernize a pro god mindset and was actually a very catchy tune, with a touch of the heavy coming from the underground also, but the point is that, as someone who's open to christianity over gothic ideals without any sort of religious or devout upbringing, I hear christian music written for the younger generation and listed as 'rock' and it comes across as a little weak.

Let me ask you both this : in my opinion, pro christian music - again, from what little I have admittedly heard, needs to move with the times and water down the wholesome, pro god image and instead install a sense of pro christian appeal based around music which is found appealing in general by people of today by having heavier beats with catchier rhythms, lyrics which are indirectly clever and insightful with undertones of being pro christian without being as 'in your face' as what I've heard has been - I find it a bit too preachy right now, while the gothic rock is clearly found more appealing by its target teenage agegroup purely because it offers them what they want : a loud and catchy tune to match their teenage angst, not dissuade them from it.

I just feel that christian music needs to lose the image which it's certainly presented itself to me as possessing, the 'we're rock, only in image and not sound' - lose the stigma that if it's loud, it's bad or evil, and crank out some pro god tunes to a level of volume which would make even Metallica blush.

Those I knew in highschool frequently came to a point where they asked themselves, with their own sheep like mentality, 'do I like christian music, or gothic music?' - those who chose christian with its weaker music and wholesome messages were more or less socially crucified by their peers while those who chose gothic rock were accepted - christian music, in my opinion, needs a new image to show that being pro christianity is not watery or in any way weak because the music is found unappealing by the younger masses, but instead promoted as the better alternative to gothic rock, which is just plain winning in terms of commercial appeal right now, and promoting negativity on a global scale.

As someone speaking with little understanding of christian music, I obviously open myself up to being proven wrong, but I want to be : christian rock music needs an overhaul, I reckon, and a new image to entice younger listeners, not isolate them among their peers, which is absolutely happening at least in this country - like gothic music or you're more or less on the social scrapheap, it seems, which is an absolute shame.

Anyone agree with this, or think I'm full of it?

[tobecome]

check out bebo norman, michael w. smith and susan ashton as well as michael card.
tish

[Stephen]

Stephen said:

First, Jars of Clay had one major hit during your high school days. It was "Flood."


And I think you are FULL OF IT!!!

Just Kidding!

Actually, to a large degree I agree with you concerning "christian music." Besides la dee da lyrics that many have, the production of the final recorded product sounds like it did not have the financial investment that much of the "secular" music has. Sony has more $$ to invest in their artists. But...

There are groups that defy that stereotype. DC Talk did well as a group. One or 2 of the members have done well in their solo projects - Check out Toby Mac:



I'm going to see what I can find and add more to our video collection.

As far as what music I'd attribute to where I am in my recovery... I'll get back to you...

[Stephen]

Dan,

I associate music with everything in my life. When I got sick I quit listening to music altogether - not a conscious decision. One day for some reason I took my mp3 player and listened to it while I was driving and found that the music helped me focus!

I associate different songs with different things I experience every day. One that I really relate to is By Boston - yes, that really dates me! The song is "A man I'll never be."


It's not just the lyrics, it's the instrumentals. Each instrument is so well played and they go together so well! Instead of a zillion non-related things going through my head I have the bass , the electric guitars, the drums, the piano, the unique vocals... I'm pretty sure it is a fugue, with three unique melodies - the vocals and two seperate guitar melodies. I hear each separate piece of this so that I am focusing on one whole thing, if that makes sense. It helps me focus and that helps me make progress.

There are others, but I want to be select, so let me think a while!

[Daniel]

First of all, before I forget : Jars of clay - when I heard this song, I thought that if Crowded House and Collective Soul had a baby together and raised him/her with good values in the music industry, then that's what would be produced - I also recalled the name of the band I was trying to remember as I wrote my response yesterday about music with a religious theme being more appealing to modern music lovers : the band 'Creed' are a band who pride themselves, I believe, upon their beliefs but have, at the same time, made music which is hard rock also - songs like 'With arms wide open', and 'My Sacrifice' - from memory (bit rusty now) carry strong themes with them and I thought they were a really appealing band, too.

The idea I get from above is that you guys appreciate what I'm saying : music with some sort of either good or religiously influenced message should be more commercially appealing before perhaps being preachy (I get the sense) - perhaps I'm simply, and ironically, preaching to the choir myself here.

[tobecome]

dan,
i was able to listen to the studio recording. It is quite powerful music.
Hope your having a great day.
tish

[Daniel]

Oh, I recall when I was a teenager in highschool - I was *obsessed* with Metallica - grew my hair long, grew an 80's style rock beard during the holidays, dressed in black, took up heavy metal guitar and played their music to death : found out I sucked so began to practice Spanish flamenco guitar because that's what I saw the singer/rhythm guitarist (James Hetfield) do. Then they went through a gimmick change and lost the hair and polished their image slightly, so like the lemming I was, I duely followed thinking to myself, 'yeah, I'm the man - grown out of my noisy thrash phase, dress with more self respect, lost the overly greased up, long hair and stupid beard, and now I'm learning me some styly musics' :
Problem with all this was the following :
- I still loved/love metal-hard rock music (though have a cross genre appreciation now of the less noisy)
- I still *sucked* at playing guitar
- I still had the delusions of grandure in wanting to be a musician
- I needed an attitude change and to grow up somewhat

Consequently, with studying Chinese I had no time for guitar any longer, so instead just listened to and enjoyed the music instead, lost the black clothing because it was stinking hot to wear in summer, shaved my beard and cut the hair in order to look normal(ish) again and most importantly realized that having designs on succeeding in music is about 99% destined to fail, so I took up the language of an increasingly influencial culture in this country and ended up, despite showing promise with it and ironically enough, in a far worse position than with music as a result.

Thing is, today I still study Mandarin, and am a few days from being trialled at a language school on a voluntary basis. I still love hard rock, though I only hear it through an mp3 player as I've kept hair short and clean shaven.

I think ones music tastes really reflect who one is, at least personally : I tried to be something I wasn't - a rockstar who was engrossed in self image and looking great to others but unlike the real thing I failed abismally.
I think the comparison which can be drawn is by knowing that in this phase of life I lived like someone trying to be a rockstar : bad dress/hair etiquette, irresponsible attitude to alcohol consumption and whatever else, pulling the finger at responsibility : it was fun at the time, but even as I lost the musical ambition and maintained the interest in the sounds of those bands, cut the hair and beard, took up something a little less far fetched, I fell ill overseas because I hadn't grown up enough at that point to understand that one cannot live by what is learned from what is seen on tv, and instead some basic things like how to cook properly, how to live more responsibly and hygienically, are the fundamental basics of life which should preceed *any* delusions of grandure - period.

Whenever I hear the song 'One' or see the video, it means much to me in the journey of the main character in the story of the book, and to a euphemized extent, I feel an ability to relate to it on a personal note : my former, chaotic and stupid life was like someone at a war, not in the sense of danger, but in how I approached living : I tried to be fantastic and noble, but in the end I was simply a person in the firing line, and I ended up like the man in the video on a hospital bed greatly effected by his prior choices he made.

Obviously, the difference is that I've been in no war, and am in far more desireable health than the person in the song, but whenever I see it or hear it, I'm reminded that being similarly disabled or worse wasn't out of the realms of possibility and I should thank my lucky stars to have been let off so lightly, which obviously I do.

Are there any songs which you personally relate to yourself, or feel are more or less a description of an aspect of yourself, even if not in terms of recovery?

[Daniel]

I just gotta add that my entire outlook upon music has changed since not only falling unwell, but through the course of recovery also, and I don't feel that acquired maturity plays a part as much as perhaps seeing something which wasn't evident before has.

Before falling ill, I *hated* music from my country and felt it was inferior to anything from the US or England, so I never listened to it and stuck exclusively to those great bands from abroad which I consumed hour after hour listening to : Metallica, GnR, Coldplay and so forth : all *exceptional* bands, but also an unfortunate diversion from something I'm only just beginning to see : sometimes the best music isn't what you're constantly subjected to or grown up with or told is great until you believe it, sometimes the best music is right under your nose all along and made locally.

I bought an album by iconic New Zealand band, 'Shihad', with skepticism. I felt it would be sold not long afterwards, but I listened to it and loved it and now I own 5 albums by the same group of guys, then Opshop, Evermore and Stellar : all great New Zealand rock bands, but then I heard some softer stuff by emerging talent Brooke Fraser and also long time kiwi musician Dave Dobyn and, well, I just had to get their stuff aswell.

Album after album later (I buy 2nd hand, I'm not rich) and now I pretty much exclusively listen to New Zealand artists, which is strange because I know I still *love* those foreign bands, but they now seem more like a highschool friend who you unintentionally lose contact with, or only speak to now and again - homegrown has taken precedence and, where once I had 5 New Zealand songs on my survivors plus page, now I have the first 59 slots taken up while song after song from those other great foreign bands become less desired and replaced.

I thought on this for some time, almost embarrassed and thinking I was being obscenely patriotic or untruthful about my real tastes, but I don't think this is true. Music has played a *huge* part in my recovery : it's what drives me at the gym, while studying or rehabbing at home, and now it's finally created an appreciation for what I think is the best gosh darn country on this planet, good old NZ.

It's been a 4 year lesson in appreciation...scratch that, 6 years : I travelled to the other side of the world, failed, returned home, got well, returned overseas, failed even worse, returned home and am now finally beginning to see some success as I feel health return at a crawl and feel like there is potentially a finite point to this illness.

As the discovery of this new musical appreciation has evolved, so has the improvments to the health, and I wonder if this hasn't actually been a part of the whole experience : discovering and valuing home more than ever in the past. This is why I put 'Welcome Home' by Dave Dobyn 1st on my page : musically, it's where I feel now.

[tobecome]

daniel, "welcome home"
i listened to that song yesterday..it is beautiful. I have to say that I appreciate your recovery efforts with songs. I haven't looked into things that deeply yet regarding music..that hits a note in time and just resonates your life. I Know I felt u2 "stuck in a moment" for several years.
Now...i'll have to do some searching...
I do listen to a cd a friend made she presently works for american greeting doing their e-cards.
She also has a site on a website purevolume.com Her name is jacquelyn romanin. Check it out sometime. She is amazing.