reply to daniel discussion re: self confidience

[tobecome]

sorry i am having difficulty posting where I wanted to but didn't want to lose my thoughts. I think possibly making a scrap book of how far you have come or pictures of yourself before vs after which symbolically identify with your new mission in life right now. Using your music to boost your soul. Exercising and grooming..ie taking notice of your appearance. I also have found using perfume to help me. I like Bannana Republic Classic Cologne. They have a men's and women's cologne. Otherwise making sure I have everything I need...cell phone, ear plugs, day planner.
Start slow and gradually build upon your comfort and skills.
You know your body best..so prepare it to do your best but also listen to your body when it might be time to retreat. And I believe in the power of prayer.
just my two cents...
tish

[tobecome]

I think one of the hardest issues to deal with is when I am ignored..cut out of someone's life..not much I can do then.. I just try to learn what i am suppose to learn and keep on walking. I have learned to forgive others when they haven't said they were sorry and it has made all the difference. I don't have to hold on to negative energy. I am thankful and blessed to have some wonderful people in my life when some family members and a few friends have not been there.
tish

[Daniel]

That's freaky-similar to me : I had a group of friends who I met at age 16 and we went through every stage of late teen-early adult life together : end of school, first jobs, moving out and so forth - then my first illness, Guillain Barre Syndrome, struck and they tolerated that as I was lucky enough to fully recover and went back to being friends with them, so when encephalitis hit, I expected them all to be there again, only this was waaaaay worse and personality effecting, so they faded away and left, like you suggest of yourself - to which, I can only sympathize and tell you how I came to terms with my own losses.

Not in a vengeful way, but I decided to use their negative sentiment as the fuel for my doing something about it - if they were gonna leave me behind, then I have the right to do the same to something myself, so I'm going to leave firstly encephalitis behind, recover from it and then see if those former friends remember who they chose to forget as they flounder in their impending over weightedness and failing health - okay, so there's a *little* bad blood, but not in a way in which I intend to do anything about it.

Do you find that the way that your own losses, in terms of friendships, is emotive to you to want to proove your doubters, or those who left your side, wrong and reverse what sparked their departure (the illness, I assume)? Obviously, like anyone, there's a grieving process to come to terms with : social changes, becoming a new person : I absolutely get that, but I also think that you're in control of how you choose to cope with those losses in your life as people leave - do you take it out on your illness by going hard at your recovery, or sit and wonder where you went wrong?

There's no difficulty in seeing how someone may follow the latter mindset - being cut out of someone elses life, someone you used to be comfortably ensconsed in the life of, is very, very hard and upsetting, but it can also make you want to proove that negativity wrong and contradict the way such events made you feel - I just hope you can see reason to be defiant moreso than down about the way these people have unfortunately chosen to react towards you, because you certainly come across as someone who deserves better than what you got from them - use it as a motivation to improve, I reckon!